Lessons in Disappointment: Honestly Overcoming Disappointment

Expectation can be a tricky thing. It can lead us to success. Maybe, it's the idea of a self-fulfilling prophecy. We think it. We believe it. We expect higher results, and we get them---most of the time. Then, there are the other times, the times when our expectations are not met. We trip. We fall. We fail. Unmet expectations can lead to disappointment. Disappointment can challenge our faith. It can challenge our ability to make decisions. It can challenge our self-worth. It can challenge our purpose for existing---the reason we were put here to do this thing called life. How do we overcome disappointment? Better yet, how do we toss it to the side of the road and continue strong in our faith walk?

Be Honest

No one has ever overcome disappointment by hiding it or trying to manage it away. Certainly, no one has ever received healing and freedom from disappointments by ignoring them and stuffing the problem into our hearts. I can be the worst with this. Here are a few lies that we continue to stumble over when it comes to overcoming our disappointment.

• Others won't care about my disappointments. Not sharing our disappointments can be a dangerous thing. When we carry disappointment around within us, it becomes cancerous. Others want to hear about our hurts, but if we allow the disappointment to chisel away at our hearts and we become mean and nasty, the people we love the most may decide that they don't want to help after all. They may choose to love us from a distance.
• I will pull others down with my problems. I don't want to hurt the ones I love; therefore, I choose to hide my pain. Just the opposite! When we don't share our disappointments, we are robbing someone of a blessing. Sharing our disappointments grows not only your faith but others' faith, too. When we share our wounds, we are blessed. The person who cares for us is blessed, and the Kingdom is advanced.
• I can handle my disappointment on my own. Pride gets us every time! We cannot handle disappointment alone. Christ knows this. It is why He ordained the institutions of family and church. We are too weak to handle life as an island. Leaning on those around us is okay. It's the way it's supposed to work.
• I will be judged for my disappointments. Maybe...but more often times than not, when I share my disappointments with someone who has earned the right to know my hurts, those whom I have done life with and have proven to be trustworthy and constant, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that they are not nearly as shocked as I would have expected. Of course, sharing intimate details of our lives should be done wisely, but everyone should have one or two trusted friends who have stuck it out with them through the years and that they can unload on from time to time, especially when the going gets tough.

I believe that Thomas, the disciple got this one right. No one is going to applaud him for his lack of faith, but he does deserve a round of applause for his honesty. The poor guy's gotten beaten up over the years for just saying what everyone of Jesus' followers had thought at some point and time between Christ's death and resurrection. John 20:25 ..... But he (Thomas) said to them, "Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe."


It's easy to get caught up in the negativity of Thomas' unbelief and to miss a valuable lesson that is taught when we read about the interaction between Thomas and Jesus just a few short verses later. How did Jesus respond to Thomas' brutal honesty? John 20:27 Then He (Jesus) said to Thomas, Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing." Jesus HEARD him! He came to Thomas. He met the need that Thomas needed to have met in order for Thomas to believe. Jesus loved Thomas! He loves us!


When we are honest about our disappointments, it opens the door for Christ to work through Believers to heal our wounds. But better yet, more than anything else that anyone could do for us, Christ comes to us and whispers, " Here are my scars. I died for you. I love you. Rest and believe. "


​(c) 2017 Victoria Paxton

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